November 22,2019
Dear Mr. Nunes,
My son is autistic and developmentally delayed but is a
visual learner and can grasp really complicated concepts if I explain them to
him using highly visual language.
Luckily, after 26 years of constant practice, I can now do the same
thing for you.
I've been watching you during the House impeachment hearings,
and listening to you rant and rave about the identity and possibly nefarious intentions
of the whistleblower is just driving me crazy.
Because you are a smart man and a loyal Republican determined to
"do right" by your party and the American people, I just can't
understand why your statements are so off base and misguided. Let's fix that, shall we?
We'll start at the beginning...
The whistleblower is like the person who pulls the fire
alarm. Once that fire alarm is pulled, a
series of cascading re-actions are set in motion. One of the reactions in the chain is that a
team of fire fighters shows up at your house to see if there really IS a
fire. These people are trained
professionals who deal with fires, big and small, every day.
You should think of the House Intelligence Committee as the
fire department because they respond to the alarm being activated. They are actually legally obligated to come
to check things out and see if there really is a fire and if so, what type of
response is indicated. One truck? Two trucks?
An ambulance? A hook and ladder crew?
Or maybe it's just a false alarm and we can all get back to business.
Well, good news, bad news I'm afraid: The bad news is that after careful assessment
by the department, it turns out there is a real fire. You should think of people like Lt. Col.
Vindland and Fiona Hill as the fire fighters.
The good news is that managing this type of situation is what they do
and they are well trained and prepared to do it.
So now that you've got a pro team who have assessed the fire
first hand and said, "Yup. That's a
fire alright." you should probably stop worrying about who exactly pulled
the alarm and what they were thinking when
they pulled it because, dude, the fucking house is on fire.
Right now you seem to be focusing your energies on figuring
out why the whistleblower pulled the alarm.
Did he smell smoke or see smoke? Did he actually see fire or did he just hear a
crackling sound that reminded him of fire. Maybe his co-workers were at the water
cooler discussing their plans to set a
fire? Maybe they were just chatting
about how much they love fires or about
how people they know have experienced a fire. Was the puller of the alarm a man or a woman
and who, exactly, signs their paycheck? Who
knows? Doesn't really matter. Moot point.
Because, as I mentioned earlier, it has been determined that the house
is actually on fire.
So while an ever expanding team of trained and seasoned
professionals addresses the ACTUAL FIRE that is patently obvious to everyone
except you, maybe you should stop focusing on who the alarm puller was and why
they did it. Because honestly, most people
are grateful that the alarm WAS pulled, alerting us to the calamity in our
midst. Maybe it's time to get on board
with the rescue mission so you, you know, don't look like such a horse's ass.
Also, spending time grilling the fire fighters on why they think this is a fire is pretty
stupid. Like maybe they made a
mistake? Maybe they don't actually have
the ability to recognize fire when they see it?
How can they really, really know it's a fire if they don't put their
hands in the flames and get burned? Doesn't
the President have the power to set fires wherever and whenever he wants? Come
on Devin. You're better than this.
The alarm was pulled.
Get over it. It's time to strategize
and prioritize how to handle the emergency that's right in front of you before
it spreads.
Sincerely,
Amy Beaton
