#207) Raise Your Voice George

Office of George W. Bush

PO Box 259000

Dallas, TX  75255-9000

June 3, 2020

Dear Mr. President,

Hey – it's me again.  Sorry to bother you, but I'm worried that I didn't make it clear enough in my last letter that your endorsement of Joe Biden should be really public.  Not just a memo released to the press by your office, but a real out-and-proud-type of endorsement where you stand with the other three living presidents and make it clear to the American people that Donald Trump's failing ship of state can be righted but that it will take all of us – Democrats and Republicans – working together. 

I'm not saying that you have to hold hands and sing Kumbaya (although I would personally love that).  But you do have to stand as a group in solidarity and as representatives of the office of the president; an office which ultimately transcends partisan party affiliation.  Americans need to be reminded that there is strength in both unity and diversity and that working together is the only way to heal the damage wrought by the Trump administration.

I believe that Republican voices are needed to restore balance to this broken system.  Please consider the power that your voice has and how to best use it in these difficult times.

Sincerely,

Amy Beaton

#206) You're Doing It Wrong

June 3, 2020

Dearest Dampy,

I'm not exactly sure what's behind your sudden and inappropriately timed visits to religious sites but it's generally a bad sign when you piss off both the Episcopalians AND the Catholics in less than 24 hours.

I guess your visit to the shrine of Pope John Paul II this morning was another attempt at a photo op but based on how badly your bible waving in front of St John's went the night before I've got to ask...what were you thinking?!  God is not a media prop.  Not only is that seriously bad form, it also reeks of desperation. It's like you are searching for some type of legitimacy by aligning yourself with holy objects even though you have no personal connection or even knowledge of those holy objects. If you are getting this PR/spiritual advice from Paula White you should know that that woman is bat-shit crazy and should be avoided at all costs.

Catholic Archbishop Wilton Gregory said, “I find it baffling and reprehensible that any Catholic facility would allow itself to be so egregiously misused and manipulated in a fashion that violates our religious principles, which call us to defend the rights of all people, even those with whom we might disagree.  Saint Pope John Paul II was an ardent defender of the rights and dignity of human beings. His legacy bears vivid witness to that truth.  He certainly would not condone the use of tear gas and other deterrents to silence, scatter or intimidate them for a photo opportunity in front of a place of worship and peace.”

And Episcopal Bishop Marian Edgar Budde said, "The President just used a Bible ... and one of the churches of my diocese without permission as a backdrop for a message antithetical to the teachings of Jesus and everything our churches stand for....I am outraged."  And a few other choice things that I don't have time to get into just now.  But you should definitely give it a Google because she is seriously pissed off with you.

So if you were trying to convey the message that God is on your side or you are doing the work of God or tear gassing peaceful protestors is some kind of a sacred mission I think you failed pretty spectacularly.  In fact, the world is still quite confused about what your message is, exactly.

Sincerely,

Amy Beaton

           

P.S.  Why did the chicken cross the road?

To pose for a blasphemous photo op at St. John's Episcopal Church!! Ha ha!

P.P.S.  As you were randomly posing and posturing with that bible outside St. John's and the reporter asked you if it was your bible it really would have been better if you had lied and said, yes, instead of saying, "It's A bible."  That line is going to be a classic and will live on the internet for ever and ever (and ever and ever Amen).

P.P.P.S.  I think the Muslims are feeling left out.  If you have any free time tomorrow you should definitely swing by the Islamic Center and Mosque on Massachusetts Ave.  They would love to see you!

#205) WTF

June 2, 2020

Dear Damp Nut,

Here's what's I can't stop thinking about...we are in the midst of a national crisis, the likes of which we haven't seen for 50 years, and the language of our politicians and journalists just makes me angrier.  "Civil unrest" and "systemic inequalities" are such polite terms.  Delicate almost.  They feel clinical and safe at a time when the majority of Americans are demanding the complete opposite.

But I don't want to sanitize the injustice perpetuated on black communities in this country.  I think that we need to address it with raw honesty (as painful as that is).  People need to vent their anger and have their pain be heard.  Rioting and looting are awful, of course, but they are a physical representation of a deeper need to be seen.  There are many police departments all around the country who recognize this and have chosen to walk with protesters or kneel in solidarity to their purpose.

You, of course, are too stupid to see that need and instead have opted to arm up and "dominate" the protesters (at least to the best of your ability as most governors do NOT agree with your approach). 

Your strongman routine last night (marching to St. John's Church for a photo op after mobilizing security forces to clear you a path through peaceful protesters) was totally ineffective and only served to highlight your impotence and inadequacy.  There was nothing triumphant or heroic about the moment.  It was farcical.  In fact, I think that picture is destined for infamy as it so nicely captures the absurdity of your presidency and complete lack of "dominance" (your word).   I'm sure my future grandchildren will see it in their social studies texts with a description like:

            "President Donald Trump's made-for-TV embrace of authoritarianism's imagery    

            and tools at a brittle national moment risks unleashing toxic political forces that    

            threaten America's democratic traditions." (from Stephen Collinson, CNN)

I'm not a religious person but I do find comfort in thinking that there's a special place in hell reserved for leaders, such as yourself, willing to sacrifice the very people they were elected to serve and protect in an effort to feed their own malignant narcissism and fragile ego.

Keep it up asshole.  Only 154 days until the election (that's right...I've started a count down clock).

Sincerely,

Amy Beaton

#204) Dear George

The Office of George W. Bush

P.O. Box 259000

Dallas, TX  75255-9000

June 2, 2020

Dear President Bush,

I am writing to ask that you formally and publicly endorse Joe Biden for president.  The November 3^rd election will be the most important election of our lifetime because

sectionalism in the country and factionalism in government has led to a dangerous level of divisiveness that is tearing at the very fabric of our society.  Donald Trump and Trumpism is at the heart of this divisiveness and must be stopped.

Many Republicans and right-leaning independents recognize the dangers of Donald Trump's poor leadership and are organizing against his re-election. I think the folks at The Lincoln Project said it best,

            "Patriotism and the survival of our nation in the face of the crimes, corruption and    

            corrosive nature of Donald Trump are a higher calling than mere politics. As Americans, 

            we must stem the damage he and his followers are doing to the rule of law, the Constitution 

            and the American character."

Only defeating so polarizing a character as Trump will allow the country to heal its political and psychological wounds and allow for a new, better path forward for all Americans. 

So please consider putting party policy differences aside, as a true act of public service, and endorse Joe Biden for president of the United States.  Your voice has power and your endorsement may be what moderate Republicans need to hear to finally turn their back on Trumpism and the madness of the MAGA agenda.

Sincerely,

Amy Beaton

#203) A New Level Of Stupid

May 15, 2020

More inspiring words from our fearless, freaky leader....

Trump: "When you test, you have a case.  When you test, you find something is wrong with people.  

               If we didn't do any testing we would have very few cases."

Also Trump:   "Katie, she tested very good for a long period of time and then all of the       

                         sudden today she tested positive.  This is why the whole concept of tests                          aren't necessarily great."

If this level of stupidity was coming from the guy down the street who yells at pigeons or your weird college roommate who dropped out but kept living in the dorm and smoking pot 24/7 it might be funny.  But coming out of the mouth of the President of the United States it is terrifying and dangerous. 

And just to remind everyone of where we stand, the US has 1,460,902 covid-19 cases and 87,025 deaths. 

Sincerely,

Amy Beaton

#202) The Lincoln Project

April 28, 2020

The Lincoln Project is a Republican Political Action Committee (PAC) devoted to defeating Donald Trump (and Trumpism) at the ballot box this November.

This is an excerpt from their website where they also post scathing anti-Trump ads:

            "Today, we find ourselves divided again – sectionalism in the country and  

             factionalism in government has led to ever uglier examples of how our political   

             system is failing. President Donald Trump and those who sign onto Trumpism are            

             a clear and present danger to the Constitution and our Republic. Only defeating so  

             polarizing a character as Trump will allow the country to heal its political and      

             psychological wounds and allow for a new, better path forward for all Americans."

I think that activating Republicans and making them aware of the dangers and deficiencies of Donald Trump is just about the most important work to be doing right now (besides controlling the coronavirus that is!) and I have made a donation to this group.

Keep up the good work everybody!

Sincerely,

Amy Beaton

#201) You're So Funny

April 25, 2020

Dearest Dampy,

When one hears the name Donald Trump one immediately thinks highly successful (obviously), stable (of course), genius (without a doubt), generous to a fault with a body like a Greek statue and a mind like a steel trap (clearly).  But now that you have shown America your funny side (and thank you for pointing it out to us by the way because honestly I think most of us missed it) with that sarcastic joke about ingesting disinfectant - really?!   Well, I think we can add rapier wit to your growing list of accomplishments.

It was truly masterful the way you played the crowd, letting them think that you actually wanted people to ingest and inject cleaning fluids into their bodies to kill the coronavirus.  I must admit...I fell for it!  Thank God you pointed out that you were making a sarcastic joke.  Phew!  I really dodged a bullet there because I had just bought some bleach and was about to give myself a high colonic when you – so generously – pointed out that it was just a joke.

Pure comedy gold I tell you.

Most comedians spend years developing and honing their skills.  I've seen every episode of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel AND Seinfeld so I pretty much know what I'm talking about and you, sir, are what comedians call "a natural".  No training necessary.  No sirree.  Absolutely none.

The next time I hear comedy legends like George Burns, Bob Hope, Robin Williams, and Gilda Radner getting all the glory I'm going to say, "Hey! Donald J. Trump TRUMPs them ALL!"  (get it?)  I'm going to make sure that you take your rightful place in history as the biggest joke of all time.

You know what they say, if you can't keep 'em happy, safe, healthy, employed, fed or housed, you'd better keep 'em laughing!  Thanks for brightening my day.

Sincerely and Sarcastically Yours,

Amy Beaton