July 22, 2017
Dear Mr. President,
Normally when I write my daily letter to you I like to give
you insight or feedback that will help make you a better president (because you
suck). But today we're going to do
things a little differently. Today I'm
going to make some predictions about how the next 6 months are going to
unfold. Ready? Here goes:
- Robert Mueller is a smart guy. He will follow the money and eventually
demand to see your tax returns as well
Jared Kushner's and/or Ivanka's tax returns.
This will either A) reveal your entanglements and possible profits from
foreign nations OR B) piss you off so much that you fire him.
- If you fire him (which is technically legal) there will be
massive political repercussions. Do a
quick Google search for "Richard Nixon Saturday Night Massacre" and
see how that worked out for him.
(Spoiler alert: it didn't work
out well).
- Another shoe will drop regarding Jeff Sessions and his
"forgotten" meetings with Russian officials. (For such a brilliant
man he does seem remarkably forgetful...so weird.) Anyway, he testified to Congress under oath that he had no contact with Russia about your campaign and now that seems to be demonstrably
untrue. Recusing himself from the
investigation does not exempt him
from perjury laws. I predict that although we will never know the full and true
story of who said what to whom on the night of April 26, 2016 at the Mayflower
Hotel, we will learn more in the next 6 months and it will lead to either the
firing or resignation of Jeff Sessions.
-If you fire Attorney General Sessions (which is completely
legal) there will be massive political ramifications (See Saturday Night
massacre above.) It would probably be
best if he voluntarily resigned although he is a huge liability and his resignation
would make your campaign look guilty as hell of collusion with Russia (which is
technically illegal, just so you know). I guess there's no neat or clean way out for him. Oh well.
- There will come a tipping point when people in your
administration will read the writing on the wall and begin to abandon
ship. That's how the public will know
that either you have reached the end of your excuses or Robert Mueller has
reached the end of the money trail and your days are numbered.
In the past 6 months this story about Russia has gone from
"fake news" to "witch hunt" to "anyone would have done
it" to "can I pardon myself or my family members?" I can't wait to see what the next 6 months
holds. Well, only time will tell.
Sincerely,
Amy Beaton
No comments:
Post a Comment