July 17, 2018
Dear Asshole,
Allow me to be the first to congratulate you on that impressively
disastrous press conference in Helsinki with Vladimir Putin. Truly, it was a remarkable performance. Not only did you go against your own national
security, justice department and country...but also against reality! Well done, sir. It must not have been an easy feat but you
managed to pull it off with aplomb and barely even broke a sweat.
You know usually when you do something like this (embarrassing,
stupid, inexplicable, un-presidential...really you can just fill in your own
word for my "this") there is a contingent of Republicans who stand up
for you, even if they have to hold their noses while they do it. But this time you're facing nearly unanimous
condemnation. (I mean, you know you've
messed up when even Newt Gingrich tell you you've messed up.) So congratulations on uniting the
country! Nice job. That's another win for Team Trump.
Sincerely,
Amy Beaton
P.S. I saw your
interview with Sean Hannity following your success in Helsinki...but what the
heck is this "nuclear warming" crisis you are trying to solve? It sounds like a hybrid of nuclear war and
global warming. I'm so glad you brought
this new threat to our attention. Probably the liberal media has brushed it under the rug because it doesn't forward their leftist-communist agenda. Luckily for us you're not afraid to speak the truth. What
would we do without you?!
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