July 18, 2018
Dear Mr. Trump,
It breaks my heart to see the way liberal media outlets like
Fox News continue to rake you over
the coals for your performance at yesterday's press conference with Vladimir
Putin instead of highlighting all of the good points. For instance, your hair was totally on point. The comb-over was masterful but the way the
whole thing just looked light enough to float off your head was breathtaking,
almost gravity defying. (I would say
magical but of course magic is satanic because it opens the way for demonic
possession which I am totally
against.) I couldn't look away. It was almost like the words that came out of
your mouth didn't matter because I was blinded by the meringue of your hair and
sitting on the edge of my seat waiting to see what would happen if a big gust
of wind came along.
Also, whoever does your bronzing should get the
Congressional Medal of Honor. I
especially love the way they avoid putting it around your eyes so that they are
more white than the rest of your face.
It makes your eyes really pop. It
puts me in mind of the Lone Ranger (another stalwart defender of freedom,
justice, and the American way!) who wore a white mask but yours is way better
because it is real. You don't need the
artifice of a leather mask that can be taken off or put on as the situation
demands because you're always on and ready to stand up to defend your country
like the true American that you are. It's
like there's nothing fake about you because you don't hide behind
anything. I appreciate that.
So don't let the pundits get you down Mr. Trump. You do you and just let the haters go hate on
someone else for a while. I'm sure this
whole thing will blow over before you know it.
Sincerely,
Amy Beaton
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