April 25, 2020
Dearest Dampy,
When one hears the name Donald Trump one immediately thinks
highly successful (obviously), stable (of course), genius (without a doubt), generous
to a fault with a body like a Greek statue and a mind like a steel trap (clearly). But now that you have shown America your funny
side (and thank you for pointing it out to us by the way because honestly I
think most of us missed it) with that sarcastic joke about ingesting
disinfectant - really?! Well, I think we can add rapier wit to your growing list
of accomplishments.
It was truly masterful the way you played the crowd, letting
them think
that you actually wanted people to ingest and inject cleaning fluids
into their bodies to kill the coronavirus.
I must admit...I fell for it!
Thank God you pointed out that you were making a sarcastic joke. Phew!
I really dodged a bullet there because I had just bought some bleach and
was about to give myself a high colonic when you – so generously – pointed out
that it was just a joke.
Pure comedy gold I tell you.
Most comedians spend years developing and honing their
skills. I've seen every episode of The
Marvelous Mrs. Maisel AND Seinfeld so I pretty much know what I'm talking about
and you, sir, are what comedians call "a natural". No training necessary. No sirree.
Absolutely none.
The next time I hear comedy legends like George Burns, Bob
Hope, Robin Williams, and Gilda Radner getting all the glory I'm going to say,
"Hey! Donald J. Trump TRUMPs them ALL!" (get it?)
I'm going to make sure that you take your rightful place in history as the biggest joke of all time.
You know what they say, if you can't keep 'em happy, safe,
healthy, employed, fed or housed, you'd better keep 'em laughing! Thanks for brightening my day.
Sincerely and Sarcastically Yours,
Amy Beaton
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